Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 17

Meet Jena

When social drinking turned into self-medicating, teacher and Mom Jena knew it was time to rethink drinking.

To start, please introduce yourself to our readers!

My name is Jena. I am 38 years old. I have been married to my husband for 16 years and we have 3 beautiful daughters- ages are 4, 13 and 15. I have been a teacher for 10 years and it is my passion! I am currently finishing up graduate school; I am earning my literacy specialist certification.

What was your relationship with alcohol prior to you rethinking drinking?

I began drinking socially in high school and college. When I became an adult, my relationship with alcohol moved from being social to self medicating. I was drinking alcohol to numb out from the stress of my daily life. I fully bought into the “mommy wine” culture. I started to think that it was normal for me to drink wine every night because I deserved it.

What was the moment when you decided to rethink drinking?

I always felt like my relationship with alcohol was maybe different than other people’s. I began having to do things like count my drinks when I was out with other people to make sure I wasn’t drinking way more than they were. I would make special stops to get wine if I knew that there wasn’t enough at home. My drinking gradually progressed to being a nightly occurrence. I knew that something had to change.

Did you find it easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you? What kind of tools did you use to help?

I could not have quit drinking on my own. I relied on the support of my husband and sober friends. I also attended AA for the first year of my sobriety. I really enjoyed hearing the stories of others and getting support and inspiration from them. I am no longer in the program but continue to practice many of the ideas. Everyone has to find what works for them and AA is not for everyone. There are other roads to recovery.

I do not have any sobriety podcasts or books that I listen to or read regularly, but I do listen to and read many personal development podcasts and books. I am constantly trying to improve myself so that I do not fall back into old habits.

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that surprised you or that you wish you’d known earlier?

I was STUNNED by the change in my health when I quit drinking. When I look back at pictures before I quit drinking, the amount of inflammation in my face significantly decreased. I naturally lost a few pounds and my skin tone evened out. I have so much more energy and sleep exponentially better. I used to blame my health ailments like headaches, brain fog, or insomnia on things like allergies and hormones. It turns out, they were all a result of alcohol.

What are some of the benefits you’ve seen as a result of cutting out alcohol?

There are so many benefits that come from cutting out alcohol. My skin and mind are clearer, I sleep better, have decreased inflammation, and lost a few pounds. I save hundreds of dollars each month from not buying alcohol. I remember everything that I do and say, and do not wake up with any feelings of regret.

What are some common triggers that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine, and what do you do to surf the urge?

When I first cut out drinking, I had to avoid triggers and replace my habit. I did this by avoiding situations where there was alcohol, but only at first. This sounds strange, but I had to cut out watching Netflix for a little bit as well because that was something that I associated with having a drink. I also had to avoid going out to eat because I loved getting drinks. Now, I rarely think about drinking and don’t have to avoid being around it. I used to have mocktails to replace my drinks, but now I just opt for water or Diet Cokes!

How did rethinking drinking contribute to your role as a Mom, partner, etc.

Removing alcohol from my life has made me such a better wife and mother. Both my patience and presence have increased. I love that my daughters will never see me drunk again. In fact, my four year old will never see me drunk. That brings me a lot of pride. My husband is also sober and our relationship is just so much stronger than it was when we were drinking. We have so much more fun sober! The fact that life is more fun sober was really, really surprising to me.

What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

If you are rethinking drinking, then chances are that you need to cut it out of your life. I spent so many years wondering if I had a drinking problem. A very wise person once told me that “normal” drinkers don’t have to question if they drink too much. You need support in your journey; it is very hard or impossible to do it alone. Reach out for help or attend a meeting at your local AA or church. Surround yourself with people who have what you want and listen to what they have to say.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your rethinking drinking journey?

Cutting out drinking was, without a doubt, the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I am so grateful for my sobriety.

You can connect with Jena on Instagram @theprettyneutralteacher where she shares teaching, style and lifestyle content.