Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 2

Meet Kathryn

Learn about Kathryn’s journey to rethink drinking.

Meet Kathryn, a self-employed Registered Early Childhood Educator, mom to two teenage girls, and a powerhouse of a woman who’s rethinking the place alcohol takes up in her life. We got a chance to catch-up with Kathryn to learn more about her journey toward breaking up with wine for good — she’s been AF for 228 days and counting! Check out her story below.  

1.  Tell us a bit about yourself — what do you do for a living? What makes you happy?

My name is Kathryn Damianidis. I'm 47 years old. Very busy mom to two teenage girls ages 14 and 16. I am an Early Childhood Educator. I've been working with kids most of my life. Working with children brings me such joy and is so rewarding. I love going to work everyday. My girls are my world and they still like hanging out with me! My family is very important to me. I'm very close to my dad. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 17. That was a really devastating and difficult time for me. I enjoy reading and cooking and I've recently started collecting vinyl records again. I find music to be such a powerful thing and it's always been a big part of my life. There is always music playing in my house. 

2. What role has alcohol played in your life?

Alcohol was never a huge part of my life. I'd have wine on special occasions or a glass here and there. As my girls started preschool and making friends, I started making new mom friends and got caught up in the mommy wine culture like many of us do. It's a play date, let's have a glass of wine. It's after school Friday, let's have wine. It's Tuesday night, let's have wine. It's book club, let's have lots of wine. There was always a reason to drink with friends and it was very enjoyable. Relaxing and chatting with friends and a glass of wine was something I always looked forward to. I have no regrets as I had so many good times with great friends. I do regret letting alcohol become a bad habit over the years. I also used it to relieve stress and give me comfort. As life got harder and more stressful over the years, my relationship with wine got stronger. Wine was always there for me. I knew that once it was evening I could enjoy my glass of wine. I looked forward to it. When covid hit, I was severely depressed. The pandemic really took a toll on my mental health. I lost my business overnight and had no idea what I would do next. It was a dark and scary time for me. Alcohol was my comfort and stress reliever, so I was drinking pretty much every night. Plus, there wasn't much to do, so there was a lot of Netflix and wine happening. It made me feel better in the moment but as time went on, it just made me feel like shit everyday. I loved my wine at night but I hated it at the same time. 

“As my girls started preschool and making friends, I started making new mom friends and got caught up in the mommy wine culture like many of us do. It’s a play date, let’s have a glass of wine. It’s after school Friday, let’s have wine. It’s Tuesday night, let’s have wine. It’s book club, let’s have lots of wine.”

3. What was the moment you decided to rethink drinking?

Back in November, I'd had some health issues going on and I came to the decision that it was time to remove alcohol completely. I was feeling like shit all the time. I wanted to feel better and I knew this is what I had to do. The thought of not drinking anymore was amazing, but how I could stop completely was scary. I knew this had become a habit and I didn't think I could stop it completely. I had talked to my doctor about how much I was drinking back in 2019 and he told me I wouldn't be able to stop on my own and I should start going to AA. I left that appointment feeling so upset and scared. I didn't want to believe the only way to stop was AA. I also wasn't sure how to do it on my own and I didn't think if I tried I would succeed. 

4. Has the change in your relationship with alcohol been easy or difficult? What do you think contributed to this for you?

Removing alcohol wasn't easy at first. Substituting with soda water or pop wasn't the same. There was no taking out a wine glass, opening a bottle and pouring it. I even used a wine glass to try and get the same feeling. It helped, but it still wasn't the same. I started looking at alcohol-free wines thinking that might help. I soon found out there wasn't a huge variety in Canada. I picked up a few and was really disappointed. They were basically grape juice in a wine bottle. This wasn't helping but I persevered and kept looking. I finally found some substitutes that weren't perfect but did the trick. I'm now loving discovering new drinks. I'm having a lot of fun with it. I really don't think I'll ever drink alcohol again. I was out with friends a few weeks ago and the restaurant gave everyone a complimentary aperitif. This was the first time since November there was alcohol in front of me. I did think about trying it. If it was just a sip it would be okay, but then I thought, no then I'll break all the hard work I've put into this and I'm so proud of myself, I'm not going to do that. I asked for a fancy cocktail to be made without alcohol instead and I enjoyed it as much as if it had alcohol. I've also been successful because Covid-19 hasn't allowed much socializing or going out so I haven't been tempted to drink. People say, well you can still have a glass once in awhile, and this is true, but I won't be doing that. I have broken up with wine for good. I do miss it, especially red wine. I haven't found anything to replace that but I'm hopeful more AF wines will be available eventually. 

5. Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or that you wish you had known earlier?

“I loved my wine at night but I hated it at the same time.”

I knew drinking isn't good for your health and the more you drink the worse it can be. I did worry about how my health might be impacted and I still worry about what damage may have been done. I'm not going to stress about it and I'm just happy I made the decision when I did. 

6. What kind of tools/prompts/books/podcasts did you use to help you on your journey toward rethinking alcohol? Do you still use these tools?

I used an app to track how many days I've been alcohol free. In the beginning, I used the app a lot because it was so encouraging, but now I check it once in awhile. It's great to see how many days it’s been. A good friend gave me the book the Unexpected Joys of Being Sober, which was a great read. I started following non-alcoholic drink groups on Facebook and sober positive people on social media. It's been helpful seeing other people's journeys and learning about AF alternatives. There's a whole other world out there!

7. Do you feel apprehensive about sharing your decision to rethink alcohol with others in your family/social group?

I am very comfortable sharing my decision to rethink alcohol with anyone. I often post NA drinks on social media. I have friends who've told me they've been inspired by me and have cut down or stopped drinking. This is amazing. I'm not anti drinking at all but I'm always happy to hear someone is rethinking drinking. It really can be life changing. It has completely changed mine. 

“ I’m not anti drinking at all but I’m always happy to hear someone is rethinking drinking. It really can be life changing. It has completely changed mine. ”

8. What are some benefits you have experienced since rethinking the place alcohol holds in your life?

I started to feel better after a few weeks. I was sleeping much better and was waking up much more refreshed. I felt more alert and had more energy. My anxiety and stress levels had decreased significantly. I had more clarity. I was also feeling much calmer and my mood had significantly changed to much happier. I also had much more patience with my family. Every little thing wasn't pissing me off like it used to, and since I wasn't feeling so stressed and anxious everyday I was a much nicer person to be around. My skin and hair also seem to be healthier. My eyes brighter. There have been so many positives. 

9. What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what are you doing now to surf the urge? 

If I was feeling stressed I wanted a drink. Stress was the biggest trigger. Boredom, too. If it was the weekend and I was home watching a movie I was also drinking a bottle of wine. I seem to have much better control of my life and my moods now, so wanting that drink isn't an issue anymore. I did have a very stressful and difficult family matter a few months ago and I did think about going to get a bottle of wine. I thought about it a lot but I was able to change my thinking, I told myself that it wouldn't help and it would just make things worse. 

10. How did removing drinking from your life contribute to your role as caregiver?

I definitely feel like I'm better mom now. I've always had a lot of patience - I work with preschoolers so patience is a must but I don't always have a lot for my own kids. They are teenagers now so hormones are out of control and there's a whole lot to deal with. I'm able to keep calm and deal with life much easier now. I worried about what kind of example I was setting for my kids. I didn't want them to think that the answer to stress or problems was a glass a wine, even though that's what I was doing at night. I knew I had to change things for them too. They are proud of me. My eldest told me she brags to everyone that I don't drink anymore. 

11. How has your physical activity benefited from removing alcohol? 

I have a lot more energy now. I'm not a gym person so I don't work out regularly but I did buy an excersise bike so I'm doing that regularly. I like to walk and I've started doing yoga, which I really enjoy. 

“[My kids] are proud of me. My eldest told me she brags to everyone that I don’t drink anymore. ”

12. What is your top piece of advice that you would give to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

My advice to someone rethinking drinking is do what's best and feels right for you. There is no right time. It may not be easy but you can do it! There are so many positives to cutting out alcohol and so many great alternatives, so you won't feel left out at a party or a girls night. I bring my own wine if I'm visiting friends and I can drive home even if I drink the whole bottle! I honestly didn't think I could do this. Anyone who knows me knows how much I loved my wine and people weren't sure if I was serious when I stopped. This was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Today is 227 days alcohol free and I am so proud of myself. 

About Kathryn Damianidis

Kathryn Damianidis is a self employed Registered Early Childhood Educator. She lives in Toronto with her husband, two teenage daughters, two cats and a dog.