Inspiring Women Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 20
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Meet Kari
The businesswoman and entrepreneur on challenging herself to a “Hundred Day Hiatus” from alcohol.
Tell our readers about yourself!
I'm Kari, I'm in Human Resources for an Auto Dealer Group in Cleveland, OH. I'm not a mom, but I'm married and have an 18lb cat named Caymus (yes...the wine!). Hobbies include writing, content creation for friends and small businesses, astrology and learning any and everything I can. I love connecting with other people on a deeper level, so, the more I learn, the more I can connect with and help others on a broader scale.
What was your relationship with alcohol prior to deciding to take a prolonged break.
Constant. While not excessive in amount, it was just about a daily occurence. Like the comfort of a morning coffee, the wine was an evening comfort. Around 2018 I joined a group on Twitter that connected over wine- tasting and it became a nightly thing. We would receive bottles of wine and in exchange post about them, review them etc. Wine lovers from the US, Canada and all the way to Scotland.
Was there a moment you decided to rethink drinking?
Thursday October 20, 2022. I was sitting in my office, tired from not sleeping well the night before, not getting the things done in the evenings that I wanted. I knew it felt right because in the past I would have had anxiety thinking "what about Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Years?" - I didn't care. I just felt it was the exact right time to make the decision in that moment.
Has it been easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you?
I think since I already completed Dry January this year, it feels like it's easier this time around. I'm more comfortable ordering mocktails or sparkling waters when I go out to dinner. Thankfully, too, I'm a person who has no issue saying no and being firm with it the first time I say it if anyone pushes me to have a drink.
Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or you wish you had known earlier?
I learned how quickly my body changes physically now, how much alcohol interferes with my sleep. Eliminating alcohol and sleeping better has really improved my need for consistent snacking. I’m up early and have a better PM routine as well that allows for extra time to pack lunch rather than being rushed and throwing whatever is easy into my lunch bag.
My family has had a bit of a long history with alcohol that hasn't always been the best and that just isn't where I want to be headed [health-wise]. There's so much I still have the desire to do and alcohol will just waste my time and hold me back.
What are some of the triggers that had you reaching for a drink, and what are you doing now when that urge hits?
Settling in after work with dinner. It became so routine to get home from work, make dinner and pour that glass of wine. It was that time to relax. Otherwise, going out to eat after work at my favorite spots that I curated over time based on their wine selection. Now, I go out to eat a lot less and eat dinner at home. I’ve also substituted with sparkling water with lime as well as Golden Milk Lattes. They’re all very low calorie no added processed sugar so you’re not swapping one “evil” for another.
It all comes back to sleep for me personally. When I’m well rested, I tend to make a lot better choices and I feel a lot less anxiety to “relax” from.
What kind of tools are you finding helpful?
Earlier this year, I read the book Alcohol Explained by William Porter - it explains “… how alcohol affects human beings on a chemical, physiological and psychological level". Also, other random Instagram/Tiktok users - I looked up a couple sober curious terms and phrases and found some great creators. It was a nice mix of those at different points in their journey which helped a lot.
What are some of the benefits you’ve seen as a result of cutting out alcohol?
My SLEEP! Better sleep has been the biggest benefit. More rested, I wake up more refreshed and if I wake up in the middle of the night I fall asleep much quicker and easier. It really helps when I'm an early riser. Physically, the belly bloat was terrible and just uncomfortable, however, I did have a friend make a comment yesterday that my skin/face looked brighter which felt really nice! Anxiety has reduced considerably.
How has removing drinking contributing to your role as a partner?
As a partner I feel like it helps me communicate and respond better. When I'm thinking clearly I can use better words and not get as emotional (although i'm an emotional person with or without the wine) :)
What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. It's easier said than done sometimes. Anyone can say "Just stop" but there's a lot more that can play in to why you enjoy or want to drink. If the desire or need keeps nagging at you to stop, start there, do your research and set yourself up with swaps, information. If it helps, tell someone close to you or post about it on social media. Doing it for yourself first and taking your time before you start going out to dinner or with friends if you feel that it could potentially not be conducive to going AF. Having that alchohol free "drink order" handy prior to dinner or an event can be helpful as well and you just might influence others to follow suit. I went to a conference in May and knew I didn't want to drink with such early mornings. I ordered a seltzer water with grapefruit and a lime. There were a couple people nearby that overheard and ordered the same!
What do you wish you had known before starting your own journey?
I feel like I got a bit lucky finding the book and social media accounts. I feel as though it was prep-work in a way and really helped curb the unknown or potential overwhelm from jumping in blind.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your rethinking drinking journey?
Not everyone's experience is the same, you are worth the work you put in to yourself to find what works for you. Like I mentioned above, be gentle with yourself, be as prepared as possible with other options and if you're unsure how long you want to quit, that's ok too. If you slip and have a drink, don't beat yourself up. Becoming more self-aware of what gives you that desire to drink will help you more and more over time. Overall, I have felt the best I have in a very long time. Physically and mentally I feel lighter and clearer. Waking up well rested is a feeling I will no longer take for granted. It’s not easy for everyone to simply stop - don’t ever feel bad for asking for help. Your social life may look a little different, but ultimately when it comes to your health and how you feel, that will always be priority.
You can connect with Kari and keep posted on her 100-day journey on Instagram at @thatsVeryKari.
