Inspiring People Who Are Rethinking Drinking Volume 26

Meet Lauren

An unexpected health diagnosis forced this Inspiring Woman to honestly confront her drinking habits.

Hi Lauren! Introduce yourself to our readers.

Hi! I’m a mid 30-something year old female living in the GTA. I live with my fiance, Scott, and our two cats, Stoli and Bo. Can you tell I used to LOVE Stoli Vodka? Awful, but love the name no less! I work as a Business Manager for an employment agency in the GTA. I have two lovely employees that report to me and make my job a breeze! My hobbies include cooking, pilates, and reading. I’m an extroverted introvert and love to sit in solitude. I am not a mom - - maybe one day?!

What was your relationship with alcohol prior to rethinking drinking?

My relationship was always fairly “normal”... I’d drink some weekends if my friends were drinking, but never thought much of it as I always suffered from awful hangovers. When my friends would be bright-eyed and cheery after a wild night, I was hugging my toilet for a full day. I did stop drinking from around age 22-27. I casually drank, but mostly smoked weed. I always had some sort of vice, even if it was the gym when I’d take a little break from substances.

It wasn’t until the end of 2019 when my doctor told me I had a kidney stone, which led to an ultrasound and bloodwork, which led to the discovery of a fatty liver. Was I really drinking that much? Not only did I feel like crap, but I looked like crap. It was showing inside and out, mentally, and physically. I am not sure why, but it felt like a HUGE “the party is over” sign was held up.

Well, you’d think someone would work towards taking care of themselves, but I felt like defying the news and continuing to drink and drink much more than I ever had been. Once COVID hit, I was drinking daily from morning until night. It was like an awful groundhog day. I noticed my clothes weren’t fitting, my appetite was gone, my mental health was AWFUL and my relationship was hurting. My doctor said to me, “I don’t want to see you die this young, but it happens”... so my “normal” relationship with alcohol was not “normal” after all...

What was the moment that you decided to rethink your drinking?

Over the end of 2020 and all of 2021 I tried to moderate. I was sober curious but was starting to sneak alcohol as I was shamed by it at this point. I was sick, failing my partner, losing friends and teetering on losing my job if this kept up. On top of that, I was diagnosed with ADHD and mild OCD. I am convinced that ADHD made me feel very different than everyone else, but that I just never knew why I felt this way, so I'd use my boozy-vice to blend in with everyone else. 

In January 2022 I said enough is enough. I reached out to a sober friend, who oddly enough had just been introduced to She Walks Canada. I quickly signed up and started attending meetings as much as possible. Do not get me wrong, it has not been smooth sailing since, but I am happy to say that I am sober and thriving and I've realized that ADHD tendencies are much, much easier to live with when you aren't inebriated. 

Has it been easy or difficult to give up alcohol, and what do you think contributed to that for you?

The beginning was moderation and that was not easy. Once I fully quit and committed it almost felt too easy. I now know this was pink/rose coloured glasses. It is HARD. The hard parts are when I am alone and bored...I have a hard time regulating my feelings, so I’d always had my crutch and once it was gone, it was like an emotional rollercoaster at the most random times.

Today, it’s easy. Without my support system, communication, connection and purpose, I’d say it would have stayed hard. 

Have you learned anything about your health in relation to alcohol that was surprising or you wish you had known earlier?

Please see above [Lauren’s fatty liver diagnosis]. I am happy to report that as of January 2023 my liver is ALMOST fully healed! My skin is clear. I shed a few pounds (not too many!) and my energy levels are so high!

Where there any tools (books, podcasts, etc.) that supported your rethinking process?

Podcasts saved my sobriety, I swear. The Blonde Files with Arielle Lorre was my first dabble into some quit-lit-pod stuff. Her podcast is broad but she’s sober so it is spoken about often. I also love Dear Gabby with Gabrielle Berenstein.

The first quit-lit I read was “Quit Like A Woman” by Holly Whittaker, which changed my brains pathways to understanding alcohol. I’d recommend the following as these also changed my thoughts: “Girl Walks Out of a Bar” (Lisa F. Smith), “The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober” (Catherine Gray), “This Naked Mind” (Annie Grace), and the [Alcoholics Anonymous] Big Book! I have gotten to step 4 in AA and have chosen not to continue, but love this book.

What are some benefits you have experienced since cutting out alcohol?

High energy levels. Bright, positive attitude. A sense of calm – no longer so reactionary. I have always been empathetic, but I feel it more now. My anxiety is so low now, whereas before my medication didn’t work any more due to my drinking. Overall, no longer experiencing awful anxiety has been the largest benefit.

What were some common triggers you noticed that caused you to want to grab a glass of wine and what are you doing now to surge the urge when it hits?

BOREDOM. That is my trigger and still is! Also...there’s something about ‘sneaking’. I cannot speak for all, but a lot of my sober sisters and I can relate to the thrill of getting away with something. So, sometimes a little voice does try to knock on my sober-door to let me know that I could probably sneak a drink. That voice is usually shut out by occupying myself with something.

How did removing drinking change your ability to contribute as a partner and friend?

My fiance and I are better than we’ve ever been. He’s so proud, and so happy to see me genuinely happy. I did lose a handful of friends, but the amount of meaningful relationships I’ve gained far outweigh the loss.

What is the top piece of advice to someone who might want to rethink drinking?

Life is not going to stop being fun, just trust me on that. It’s VERY fun at the sober-table, where guests are always welcomed 😊

What do you wish you had known before you started this journey?

I wish I’d known that this is nothing to be ashamed of. We should take pride in our choices to limit or reduce alcohol. And a virgin spicy margarita is JUST as yummy!

Is there anything else you’d like to share with our community?

I am so very grateful for the sober community. I want to say THANK YOU to Sarah and Some Good Clean Fun, and to my sisters at She Walks Canada for always supporting me.

Also, this may be controversial, as I am not endorsing drinking, but if you are sober curious, why not try 30 days and see how you feel after? I am positive you will feel amazing and likely want to continue. There is a team of cheerleaders already rooting for you!

You can connect with Lauren on Instagram at @laurenlinzy.