But It Doesn't Taste Like Real Wine!

Some Good Clean Fun marketing and editorial coordinator Helena Barkla writes about why non-alcoholic drinks might not taste good

I’ve shared my rethinking drinking story before, complete with its unexciting ending – I discovered Gruvi drysecco, decided it was as much of a treat as my prosecco had been, minus the annoying side effects, and that was it. FOMP (fear of missing prosecco) was the big barrier to me quitting. So I’m empathetic to some of the reaction to Canada’s recent change to drinking guidelines, as stricken wine-lovers wonder how they can navigate their desire for health with their love of a good cabernet sauvignon. And I understand the “… but non-alcoholic wine tastes like grape juice” lament; I really do. In an era when cauliflower is supposed to replace carbs and zucchini replace pasta, I get the desire for the “real thing.”

So here’s the thing – I tried Gruvi in hopes that it would taste just like prosecco. It doesn’t. To some extent, I can say the first taste was disappointing in that respect – it clearly was not going to replicate that experience for me. BUT. It was GOOD. It’s a GOOD drink. It has tartness and dryness and plenty of bubbles. It does not taste like something you’d drink at a kid’s birthday party. To my palate it is reminiscent of a deliciously crisp dry apple cider. So it didn’t give me the same experience as prosecco, but it gave me a GOOD experience. And since it doesn’t have the downsides that alcohol has, it was easy to choose a good thing over “the real thing”.

Reframing non-alcoholic drinks

Herein lies the challenge with non-alcoholic drinks – when they are imbibed with the mindset that they’re the poor cousin of their sophisticated alcoholic counterparts, they are bound to disappoint. There’s a good reason for this. Non-alcoholic drinks DO NOT CONTAIN ALCOHOL (mind blown, right?). It’s impossible for them, therefore, to taste the same as alcohol.

And let’s not forget that alcohol is an acquired taste. Most of us didn’t start out drinking aged whiskey, craft beer or fine wine. We generally start with something light, and probably sugary, to mask the taste of the alcohol. Over time, we get used to it and start to crave it mentally and physically and thus the taste is acquired.

What I now know, 18 months into living alcohol free, is that the taste is unacquired just as readily. I started dabbling with alcohol when I was 15 or 16, so I had 30+ years of alcohol consumption under my belt when I stopped drinking it. A mere year and a half later, I have a slight gag reflex to the smell of a wine I used to love.

Alcohol is just not that special

I don’t see this as remarkably different from any other dietary changes, like reducing the amount of salt you add to food. It starts off tasting bland, but in time your taste buds adjust and you start perceiving other flavours more fully. Adding too much salt begins to taste overwhelming. The same goes for sugar. If you’ve ever done a sugar-free diet, and then tried to eat a cupcake, you’ll know what I mean! Alcohol is just not that special. It’s a taste, and taste preferences can change with it just like any other flavour or spice. Aren’t our taste buds amazing?

Enjoying all the things

Another interesting thing has happened since I stopped drinking alcohol – I enjoy MORE drinks, not less. When I was a devoted prosecco drinker, it was basically either water, tea or prosecco. Anything else didn’t seem worth the calories, the money or just didn’t taste as good. I’ve rediscovered an enjoyment of many different types of drinks, from flavoured sparkling waters, to iced teas or lemonades, Italian sodas, nocktails and the (very occasional) diet pop. Although I still stick to water and tea for day to day, when I crave a treat the options seem endless. It turns out there’s a good reason for this: drinking alcohol diminishes our sense of taste, making it harder to perceive the subtle flavours in various foods. In my case at least, giving up one item I enjoyed unexpectedly opened the door to enjoying a whole range of things I didn’t know I loved.

Changing the question

Sarah said it best recently on her IG account, when talking about evaluating non-alcoholic drinks: “I try and think ‘does it taste good’, not ‘does it taste like wine’”. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy and it’s going to be difficult to find non-alcoholic drinks you enjoy if the definition of enjoyable is ‘must taste like alcohol’.

Think about the elements of wine you appreciate that are not necessarily alcohol dependent, like tannins or acidity. Recall the drinks that made you oh so happy before you started drinking at all (lemonade, for me). Be open to an entirely new flavour capturing your tastebuds. You will see there’s a world of GOOD drinks waiting for you.