Raise A Glass To The Rebels: Nonny n/a Dark Lager Review

Nonny’s new roasty, toasty dark lager is the perfect non-alcoholic pint for St. Patrick’s Day

As a bartender, I always preferred to spend March 17th behind the pine than in front of it.

St. Patrick’s Day tended to bring out hordes of inexperienced day drinkers, which meant rowdy crowds and belligerent behaviour that even I, who was plenty rowdy and belligerent on many an occasion, didn’t want to be a part of.

It seemed that the more the plastic-shamrock-and-leprechaun-hat-wearing people drank, the less they cared what they drank. Shots of whiskey ⏤ Irish, Canadian, Scotch, American, whatever. Guinness minus the proper 119.53-second pour. Cheap lager plus green food colouring.

Not to judge too harshly but even before I was a bartender, before I knew I was a descendant of the Emerald Isle, I refused to drink green beer. It just seemed… wrong. So a pint of stout was always my go-to. And my choice was reaffirmed when I learned that stout isn’t just beer ⏤ it’s a symbol of rebellion.

During the British rule of Ireland, English landlords collected crops as rent from their Irish tenants. In protest against their overbearing overlords, the Irish farmers began to burn their barley. The English, thinking the grain was ruined, left it behind. Little did they know that roasted barley made delicious beer.

Whether the story is true or not ⏤ I heard it from a tour guide on a trip to Ireland a decade ago ⏤ it stuck with me. And the taste I developed for beer made with roasted malt did too.

And so with Ireland’s national holiday on the horizon, and no bar to hide behind, I’ve started to face my fate: to be a part of the mob that embodies the most pervasive and pernicious Irish stereotype. But to do it sober.

Fortunately, a Vancouver non-alcoholic brewery has put out a fresh limited release just in time.

Introducing Nonny Dark Lager.

More German schwarzbier than Czech tmavé pivo, Nonny Dark Lager is made with roasted malts and hopped with Hallertau Mittelfrüh and Magnum. Purists will be pleased to note that it meets the criteria for the Reinheitsgebot, or Bavarian Purity Law of 1516, which stipulates that beer can only be made with barley, hops, yeast, and water.

Tradition aside, this is a verdammt good beer, alcohol-free or not.

It pours an opulent mahogany with a luxurious creamy-white crown that lingers longer than expected. The aroma is reminiscent of preserved fruit, like raspberry jam or maraschino cherries. The flavour is roasty, toasty, big, and boasty ⏤ think graham crackers roasted over a fire with melted cocoa-rich dark chocolate. The finish is so dry that you’ll want to wet your whistle again and again.

Pair it with fatty, salted meat, like roast or corned beef and lamb. And don’t forget the potatoes and gravy.

And so this March 17th, I’ll hoist a glass of Nonny Dark Lager as an act of rebellion in honour of my Irish ancestors against the forces that tell us we need alcohol to have a good time ⏤ on St. Paddy’s Day, or any day.

Sláinte!

Liam Ford, Contributor

Liam is a poet, writer, and editor with a decade of experience as a bartender under his belt. His mission? To find an alcohol-free craft beer that satisfies his craving for hops.